Best Fake Movie & TV Products We Wish Were Real

Have you ever watched Sponge Bob SquarePants and thought to yourself, “Hey, I could really go for a Krabby Patty”? Stood over the empty paper tray of the working photocopier, wishing he could order more paper from the Michael Scott Paper Company, as seen in Office? Order an anvil thrower from ACME, as in looney tunes? You’re not alone – movies and TV are full of products that aren’t in the real world. Some have even made the leap from screen to reality. In fact, someone’s probably enjoying a nice refreshing Duff beer at Universal Studios right now (like dumb, sexy Flanders). So, despite those beautiful objects that only stay on screen, there’s always a chance, isn’t there?


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The Michael Scott Paper Company article in The Office (2005-2013)

As seen in Season 5 of Officethe upstart paper company, run by Pam (Jenna Fisher), Ryan (BJ Novak), and of course Michael Scott (Steve Carell), begins to seriously cut off Dunder Mifflin’s clientele. It is unsustainable, of course. Low prices and fixed cost pricing would have doomed the company within days. Key words: would have. Dunder Mifflin thinks the only way to stop the bleeding is to take over the Michael Scott Paper Company, and they do, yielding to Michael’s stipulations. Anyone can buy Dunder Mifflin branded paper, from Amazon and a number of other places, but recognizing the bright spark that was the MSPCP would be awesome.

Tracy Jordan Meat Machine in 30 Rock (2006-2013)

It’s perfect, really. Take whatever three meats you want, pop them into the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine, and you’ve got yourself a delicious dumpling of food, without having to suffer the bread part. Meat is the new bread! If only he wasn’t spitting burning fat everywhere. If you can’t trust a product made in North Korea, via Winnipeg, via Stanford, via Colorado, then what can you trust? But we’ll never know the joys of having our own Tracy Jordan Meat Machine, thanks to the mighty bread lobbyists. The closest we’ll ever get is the KFC Double-Down.

Sex Panther Cologne in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

Sex Panther cologne is a product that you box get, with an aromatic fragrance with hints of juniper and lavender. But we want it real thing, not a non-offensive imitation of the real world. One that is illegal in 9 countries. The one made from parts of real panthers. The one that 60% of the time works every time, with a fragrant smell reminiscent of pure gasoline, used diapers with Indian food, or Bigfoot’s…er, Bigfoot.

Flubber in Flubber (1997)

Flubber, “flying rubber”, is the brainchild of absent-minded professor Philip Brainard (Robin Williams). On the day of his third marriage to Dr. Sara Jean Reynolds (Marcia Gay Harden) – having absentmindedly forgotten to attend the first two – the Professor creates Flubber, a rubber that allows objects to fly through the air. Brainard uses the Flubber in a variety of ways, coating a golf ball and a bowling ball, applying it to his Ford Thunderbird to get it flying, and applying it to the shoes of the basketball team. university, giving an advantage to the unqualified. in their next game. Still, there are so many things it could be used for: rescuing kittens from trees, an alternative to a broken elevator, catching planes for those who miss flights, mothers-in-law, and so much more.

Mattel Hover Boards in Back to the Future II (1989)

Contrary to popular belief, Mattel has never created a hoverboard, which is a shame. Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) just made it so easy in Back to the future part II. Think about it, you’ll fly over potholes, sidewalk cracks, or even small furry rodents, all without getting knocked off your board. Sigh, probably as well, especially for those of us who will end up, wheels or no wheels, with our faces meeting the pavement regardless.

Mockolate in Friends (1994-2004)

Mmmm… Mockolate… oh, season 2, episode 8, “Whoever’s got the list”, why are you taunting us like that? The all-synthetic chocolate substitute, advertised as even better than chocolate, never had a chance to turn Thanksgiving into a Mockolate holiday. Alas, the sweet, bubbling sensation that crumbles in your hand, with a taste that has only a hint of what evil must have, will never be ours. Perhaps there is still hope for Fish-tachios, provided you are not allergic to cat hair.

The car “The Homer” in The Simpsons (since 1989)

“Powerful like a gorilla, but soft and flexible like a Nerf bullet.” Without a shadow of a doubt, ‘The Homer’ is the perfect automobile. Two bubble domes, one front and one rear for child disposal (comes with optional restraints and muzzles. Engine noise that makes people think Armageddon is near Three horns that play “La Cucaracha” when pressed Cup holders for those with gigantic high protein beef or wheatgrass squishes Shag carpet, tail fins and even a metal bowler for a hood ornament. How can you not you want this in your driveway? Besides, what else can $82,000 get you these days?

Happy Fun Ball (Saturday Night Live, 1975-Present)

It’s happy! It’s funny! It’s Happy Fun Ball, the toy sensation sweeping the nation, and for just $14.95! Wow, only $14.95 for something that makes you happy and to have fun together? Yes please! Disregard the long list of side effects and warnings. It’s not like Happy Fun Ball is Lawn Darts, to cry out loud. It is strongly suggested, however, never to taunt Happy Fun Ball.

MagnaVolt in RoboCop 2 (1990)

When was the last time someone paid attention to a car alarm? They’ve become so common that most assume they’re triggered accidentally, which isn’t helpful in a situation where someone is really trying to steal your car. This is why we need Magna Volt. In the event of a car theft, two metal belts come down and electrocute the attacker to death before fleeing. Just open the door, let the smoking corpse fall to the floor, and get on with your day. No alarm noise, no police intervention, just the satisfaction of knowing you have the most effective car security system ever. It won’t even drain the car battery, an eco-friendly solution to the endless problem of car theft.

ACME Products in Looney Tunes (1930–Present)

While the odds are good we’ll never need to grab a roadrunner, that doesn’t mean we couldn’t use some of the amazing products ACME provides. You’ll never be late again, thanks to their rocket-powered roller skates or jet-powered unicycle. Run like the wind with Triple-Strength Fortified Leg Muscle Vitamins. Take the holiday stress away with the Christmas Wrapping Machine that does all the wrapping while the Little-Giant Snow Cloud Seeder makes an instant white Christmas. Instant boulders for when you need rocker, and, of course, ACME’s ever-loved brand, Anvil. Watch out, Amazon!

Krabby Patties in Spongebob Squarepants (1999–present)

Why should the people of Bikini Bottom be the only ones enjoying a tasty Krabby Patty, the signature burger of the iconic Krusty Krab? Forget Beyond Meat, or VegeMeat, or ‘I Can’t Believe This Isn’t Meat!’: Krabby Patty is a vegetarian’s dream, a 100% secret patty with cheese sub, pickles, lettuce, tomato and onion, all between two soft seaweed buns. There is literally no reason for Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown) couldn’t open a Krusty Krab franchise on land, but until he does, or at least until he gives up the secret formula, we’ll never know the sweet taste of a Krabby Patty. Possibly Plankton (Doug Lawrence) could open a Chum Bucket?

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